Drapes are violently ripped—
as I accidentally meet your gaze
and view sinister demons
choking your soul.
You reek of concentrated darkness
contaminating the air we share
in a germ-infested subway car.
We are just strangers,
yet your monsters hold me captive—
they curdle my blood
and shoot daggers into my eyes.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
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15 comments:
very different ..enjoyed it
Nasra
There is a connection,
we do not speak
or even touch
I dont know you
and from where you came
The life you had
or did not have
The insecurities you suffered
I do not know
If you suffered indifference
or racism
If your father fought with your mother
Or you did have the food you wanted
and you ran in dank office corriders, wanting a job you wanted....
Whether life was unfair,cruel on you?
The energy you generate is negative
But I do know that NOW
You are sick.
suffering pessimism
you smell foul of deceit
of regret
of an identity crises
of cynicism
whatever it was,
the sun rises for you too
wake up,
though soiled
hurt
lost
wake up
'no matter what you past, you are responsible for who you are'
free yourself
from the scars of the past
that have an impact,long after the context is of no signifance
Get Up
Make a mark on the world!!!
Wake Up the sun has risen for you too...
Wow Shikha, the poem you write is dark, forboding, hopeful. Is this something you've written in the past or a take on "Black Window"?
actually ep, have just shifted base to your country...and can relate to what you write,because just yesterday i felt this way in the metro....it was on my mind and then i read this, so it came pouring out i guess....
As usual i think your imagery tugs the heart somewhere and keeps one asking for more...
Have you ever tried writing for a rock band??
I am flattered... the biggest compliment I could receive is when my poetry inspires more.
No, I've never written for a band before.
Been there and done that. You have expressed the pain and evil that some carry without care, and/or ability to strive against. Excellent!!
Hey lady,
This writing is twisted, but exciting - dark verses light. I think you are finding such a niche for yourself. I just love the way you write.
Interesting poem, I like the feeling of mystery as we do not know exactly who these people are, why they are in a car together and why there is so much "concentrated darkness" between them. I find the first line of the poem slightly cliche, as chills creeping down spines is a fairly unoriginal image, but the rest of your imagery is good - I particularly like the second stanza, with the idea of germs and contamination. Thanks for sharing this. :)
Man, am I ever glad I don't have to ride that train. My demons need no encouragment...
A visceral sadistic yet prolific poem indeed. Deeply unsettling and powerfully true. Great read!
ep..i love the change of the first line...and the spirit with which you took negative criticism...
Thank you shikha! It's easier to take negative critism if an explanation is included in the package!
EP, you have a gift. Not just the poetry, the words, but the depth.
Very few can see all that in one look. I just hope you were able to separate his/her demons from your own.
Thank you Mermaid for such an elegant compliment! At times I have been unable to seperate all that I see... but I'm getting better at it.
Dark & Inspirational :)
-NG
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